Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Have a Little Faith

This little flower is appropriately symbolic for my life as an entrepreneur. After leaving a "secure" job over a year ago, I struggled for months with back pain, depression, chronic fatigue and insecurity; with my life, with my future, and with myself.

Making the decision to leave my job was tough. I knew that once I walked out the door I'd never go back and would finally have the freedom to choose the direction my life would go. But to where?

Initially, after leaving my job, I had gotten a catchy business name to become a professional organizer, only to realize that physically it would not be possible. Of course, I could have hired people, but I'd have had to charge a lot more than this current market would allow, so I dropped that idea.

After two back surgeries, I'm limited, physically, in what I can do. This includes sitting, even for a half hour at a time, without some kind of back pain. The inability to sit limits my ability to work in and out of the office. It was one of the main reasons I chose to leave my desk job of 21 years. Like I said, it was tough, but the best decision for me.

As a rule, I tend to look too far into the future, which causes me unnecessary worry and grief over events that have not, or may not, happen. It's important to "plan" ahead, but don't look too far ahead because inevitably the future will change your plans. I've always cringed at the common interview question "Where do you want to be in five years?" I mean, really, how does anyone know what the near future, let alone distant future, will bring?

Logically, of course, I know why an interviewer asks that question. They want to see if you know how to plan, have goals. However, on a gut level, I've always felt that question is not only irrelevant, but unfair, as today's job market is anything but stable. Chances are the person who interviews you for a job won't be there next month. Five years? Give me a break.

I've tried many things in my life, some have failed miserably and others have been highly successful only to eventually fall through the cracks, opposite of the flower which inspired this blog. My most successful endeavors in life were ones in which I have been creative. Therefore, in order to be successful in my life, my career of choice must involve creativity.

My passions have always been writing and photography. Having the internet at my disposal to write until my heart's content in too many blog sources to count, as well as being able to post a million photos if I so choose, certainly fulfills both of my needs.

The esoteric creativity of combined writing and photography is awesome, but not without flaws. Creativity by its nature doesn't necessarily guarantee monetary success. In order to make a living, we have to sell a product, whether it is our creativity in a neat package, or a physical product we use to enrich our lives. It's difficult to work at something and sell it too and hiring someone to sell for you isn't always an option if you have no money to pay them.

That's where faith comes in. Faith is the invisible bridge that holds us up when we feel like falling down. Faith is what carries us through when our world seems to crumble around us; people let us down, prices continue to rise, incomes plummet, more people lose their jobs. It's easy to lose faith in what you once believed in.

Sometimes life boils down to faith. Faith that we CAN and will survive, no matter what life throws at us. Faith that we CAN make our dreams a reality and recover what we've lost. After all, if faith is gone, what's left?