Wednesday, July 27, 2011

My Vacation From Hell


After eleven years of being separated from a close friend whom I had worked with, we reconnected on Facebook in October, 2008. After two and a half years of communicating through Skype, e-mail and the occasional phone call, we'd become close as ever and when she'd told me she wanted to sell her house in Texas and had planned on moving back to Arizona, she'd invited me to visit her after she was settled. She hadn't planned on her home in Texas taking almost a year to sell, but eventually, they sold the house and had finally settled in Lake Havasu City, Arizona in December, 2010. I decided to give hr a few months to get settled into her home, get through the holidays and plan to take a trip out there in mid-February, 2011. We'd planned this trip for several months and were both excited at the prospect of seeing each other again. To protect the identity of this person, I won't use her real name, so I'll refer to her instead as "Melanie."

We'd planned this trip for three months; what to do, places we'd go. Melanie had told me she had a lot of fun stuff in store for us and couldn't wait for me to arrive! I also couldn't wait to get there as I had anticipated it would be the vacation of a lifetime, since I'd never been out west and was looking forward to exploring the vast area with my friend. So when the day finally came and it was time for me to leave for the airport, I was excited to finally fly out to see my good friend. Little did I know what lie in store for me, beginning with the trip from the airport. That should have been a clue as what was to come.

The plane had left Detroit Metro airport at 8:25 p.m. on February 13th, (bad omen) and landed at the McCarren International Airport in Las Vegas, the closest major airport to Lake Havasu City, Arizona. I'd been on a plane before, but never alone and flying solo was more than a bit unnerving, but people do it all the time, so I squashed my instinctive nervousness and tried to relax and enjoy the trip. Little did I know it was soon to become the vacation I'd never forget, but not because it was the dream vacation I'd envisioned for months. I had no idea what was to come, or what a huge mistake and lack of judgment I'd made (but I'll get to that later.) Unforeseen events prevailed and my dream vacation soon turned into a nightmare that would have long-lasting effects in ways I couldn't even begin to imagine.


It wasn't long before the trip of a lifetime took a turn for the worse. As the pilot taxied down the runway, the flight attendants began the drill of showing passengers where to locate their oxygen masks pointing to the emergency exits, in the event of a water evacuation. I had been focused on the flight attendant who stood a few seats ahead of me, when I heard the unmistakable sound of someone vomiting. I was disgusted and totally grossed out. This was NOT a way to begin a "dream" vacation.

I glanced directly across the aisle and saw a young man bent forward, head stuck inside a paper bag, emptying the contents of his stomach. He'd either been recovering from a hangover or had air sickness, but good grief, we were still on the ground! During the entire four-hour flight, I kept one eye trained on that man in the event he was going to use the smelly puke bag again. It didn't help matters that instead of tossing it in the garbage, he had kept it stuffed into the rear pocket of the seat in front of him. It had smelled sour and turned my own stomach as I was already more than a little nervous about the overall flight. I was also convinced by keeping the bag nearby, he was likely to use it again, and sure enough, he did, right before we landed, his head was back in the bag. When we finally touched ground, I couldn't wait to get off that smelly plane, but of course, had to wait because it took a while to disembark.

My plane had landed in Las Vegas McCarren International Airport around 9:45 p.m. and after I was able to turn my cell phone back on, I saw that Melanie had sent me a message, "Where are you?" I told her our plane was slightly delayed, but I was disembarking and would be at the luggage area within 20 minutes. By the time Melanie had found me and we exchanged hugs, it was 10:10 Las Vegas time and 1:10 Detroit time.

I was starving, but excited, and figured I would just grab something to eat once we got to the hotel, because that was the plan, for us to spend the night in Las Vegas, then tour the city, including the Hoover Dam the next day. We agreed she'd pick me up from the airport and we'd stay the night in Vegas. I'd have plenty of time to eat a good meal, then could relax and unwind in a hotel room while Melanie and I had some time for "girl talk" before we went to bed. I was exhausted and needed to sleep, but first needed to eat as I had felt light-headed since it had been a long time since dinner in Detroit.

But none of that would happen, as I soon found out. Melanie had told me that Jeremy (her five year old son) had gotten ill, so instead of staying in Las Vegas as we'd planned, she said she'd needed had to drive all the way back to her house in Lake Havasu City, which was about 2-1/2 hours away. Mentally I added up the time we'd reach her house and figured it would be around 1:00 a.m. Vegas time, 4:00 a.m. Detroit time when we got to her house. My stomach protested and I wasn't sure I'd be able to go that long without food, but Melanie suggested we could stop somewhere along the way, so, without much choice, I said, "Ok," and followed her to where she'd parked her car. Not until that moment did I find out we wouldn't spend a few days in Vegas as planned while her parents had watched her son. It was the first of many plans that had been changed, or had never happened at all.

By the time we were on the road, it was 10:20 p.m. and with the time difference, it had been close to 24 hours since I had dinner and I was growing alarmingly hungry and light-headed. I wasn't sure I could make it 2-1/2 hours without real food, but was optimistic that we'd find a Denny's along the way and could stop. She assured me we would stop to eat something, so I resigned myself to enjoy the trip in spite of the hunger gnawing at my gut, but found it increasingly difficult to concentrate on the views she had pointed out along the way because I was too hungry and didn't even pay attention. She'd also pointed out many things that I really couldn't see in the dark and thought, "What's the point of this?" But politely kept it to myself. It was far too dark to see much of anything in the desert.

Since we were in the middle of the desert, there were no restaurants open, so we kept on driving, hoping to find something. When we finally came across the only restaurant we spotted, a Subway, it was 10:55 and they had just closed and were getting ready to lock the door. I beyond disappointed. I was desperate to eat! Hiding my increasing hunger and disappointment at how this dream trip was turning out, I got back in her Jeep and we hit the road. She had kept driving, and my hunger become more prominent with each passing mile.

After a while, a light had come on in her dashboard it beeped and she said, "Oh, Shit!" Her gas light had come on. She'd forgotten to get gas and her tank was almost empty. I had offered to pay for gas before we left Las Vegas, but she said she had enough and that she'd get it later. This made no sense to me, but I didn't want to start out the trip arguing, besides, she should know how much gas she has left, right? By then I was not only starving, I was cold, (it was only 42 degrees when I landed in Vegas), and now I had the added worry that we'd run out of gas in the middle of the desert in the middle of the night. This vacation was definitely NOT what I had dreamed about for 3 months. I had forced a faith I had soon learned not to trust that it would get better. It didn't. This was just the beginning of many similar episodes. The food thing would become a theme throughout the entire vacation. I was to be hungry a lot on this two-week excursion to hell.

We had finally arrived at her house around 3:15 a.m., which given the one hour time difference from Las Vegas, it was 5:15 a.m. in Detroit and I knew my husband would be getting up to go to work soon. All was quiet as we entered Melanie's house through the garage. The home was a lovely adobe style with a very interesting feature in the middle of the house, an atrium with an open ceiling so you could sit outside and view the stars in complete privacy. I made a mental note to explore the entire house when I had rested and eaten, the next morning.

Still, my only focus was on food since I hadn't eaten in about 24 hours, so Melanie had  made me a bowl of split pea soup and I had made a turkey sandwich. I was thankful to finally eat after almost 24 hours. After I had eaten, I had felt a bit more human. Melanie had shown me to my room. It was lovely with its large, private bathroom containing a gigantic bathtub. We talked for a bit after she went into her son's room and spoke softly to him. He had woken up when he heard us come in. I finally crawled, exhausted and now with a fully tummy, into bed at 3:30 a.m., which was 5:30 Detroit time, right about the time Jim gets up to go to work. I almost called him to tell him I'd arrived safely, but I was exhausted and needed to sleep. Tomorrow would be the official start of my two-week stay in Arizona, and I was looking forward to checking out the surroundings in the daytime. Melanie had told me she'd planned a lot of things for us to do and places to go.

The next morning was Monday, Valentine's Day. It was a cool day, but turned warmer in the afternoon and hit around 74 degrees. We sat outside in the morning. Her son came down with a cold the day I flew in, which was the reason we couldn't spend time in Vegas. I was disappointed, but of course I understood a sick child took precedence over anything else. Plus, I didn't mind resting up a day or two because I truly felt the jet-lag from the exhausting trip.I had told her about the guy who vomited on the plane and she too was grossed out.

Her house was beautiful, the outdoor patio facing Lake Havasu and the distant Southern California mountains. She had made waffles for breakfast and later she said she needed to get some groceries, so in lieu of her ill son, I had offered to go to Walmart that afternoon to get a feel for the area and save Melanie a trip to the store so she could stay home and take care of Jeremy, who had watched cartoons on the couch. He was a quiet, shy little boy but eventually came to be friendly and we got along fine.

I had fun exploring the wild, Arizona landscape and found the Walmart easily enough. I had lunch at the Subway inside of Walmart first, then browsed through the aisles and bought some groceries. I had yet to meet Alan, her husband, but he had worked late at the restaurant that night for Valentine's Day so I knew he wouldn't be home. That evening I made chicken cordon blue for dinner. By the time it was done, it was after 7:30 and I was quite tired after being on my feet most of the afternoon, plus my back hurt. We finished dinner around 8:00 and by then I was pretty wiped out. I think the flight got to me and I would need another day to recoup. Melanie had made plans for us to go into town and see the London Bridge the next day. I had my camera ready and couldn't wait to get out and snap photos.

Tuesday morning, Melanie started coughing. She had caught whatever Jeremy had and wasn't feeling too well. The timing couldn't have been worse! In the afternoon, Melanie suggested we go see where her husband, Alan worked as a chef at a country club, so we headed into town and she pointed out some sights along the way. Before long we arrived, and she drove into a private, gated entrance, then parked the Jeep and got out. I took a few photos of the surroundings as well as Melanie and Jeremy sitting on a rock. It was a beautiful, warm afternoon.

When we turned to leave the parking lot, she saw her husband down the hill, near the clubhouse on a golf cart. He took us for a ride around the private area of the club and we got to see the million dollar homes that only members could normally see. I enjoyed the sights and was thrilled to get a photo of a real road runner. She said we could come back anytime to use the pool or gym, which sounded like a great idea. I couldn't wait! After our tour, we left and headed for her house.

Later that evening, I had finally met her husband, Alan, and they had ordered a pizza and two large salads. The dressing was outstanding. I was starving and enjoyed the salad and pizza. It was a nice evening, so Melanie and I sat outside with our blankets. Jeremy was taking a bath, so Melanie kept having to get up to tend to him until it was his bedtime. Once he was in bed, we spent the rest of the evening outside on the couches and chatted about the good old times we'd spent working together. It was nice to see my friend, whom I had lost touch with for over 11 years. Jeremy was feeling better and would be going back to school tomorrow, so Melanie and I would begin our sightseeing. I couldn't wait!

Wednesday morning, Melanie took Jeremy to school and came back before 9:00 then discovered she'd forgotten his lunch on the counter, so before we could take off for our sightseeing, she had to return to the school to drop off his forgotten lunch. She told me we'd head over to see the Parker Dam, but then somehow we ended up driving through the desert, right through an Indian Reservation with a very prominent "keep out" sign. Melanie did some off-roading and the Jeep's rough ride did a number on my aching back. I couldn't take the jarring bumps of driving on such a horribly bumpy road, and told her as much, so eventually she got onto a paved road and headed into a Godforsaken place called "Swan Sea," which was an abandoned mine.

Melanie was fascinated with the place, but couldn't believe how much it had changed from the last time she was there. She was intent on getting some photos of the abandoned old buildings. I thought the place was desolate, boring and dangerous. I didn't feel comfortable or safe out there in the middle of nowhere and questioned her reason for taking me there. There was absolutely nothing to see out there. I'd much rather have gone to the Parker Dam, which was supposed to be our original destination.

I'm not sure why she ventured off and chose to go to this Godforsaken land, but I had tried to be a good guest and didn't question her decision nor did I complain. It took a while to reach this Swan Sea place and my stomach yet again growled in hunger as it had been hours since breakfast. Since Melanie was on the Atkins diet, she didn't seem too concerned with my hunger because she continuously drank gigantic latte drinks and had Atkins bars with her at all times. I needed a "real" meal, but soon learned that keeping a candy bar in my purse was essential as many times it had gotten me through a real bad patch of hunger until I could finally eat.

After a few hours, my stomach was rumbling and I pulled out a couple of Dove Darks that I'd stuck in my purse and I'm glad I did because it was close to 2:30 by the time we stopped at a Burrito place named "Ruptero's". She had wanted to get it "to go," but burritos are messy, so I suggested we eat there. We ordered our burritos and sat down to eat. It was the best burrito I'd ever eaten, made of shredded steak and cheese, but I couldn't fully enjoy it, because I had felt so rushed. I had remembered Melanie was a really fast eater, and that hadn't changed in all those years. She finished hers long before I was done. I can't gobble my food like that because it gives me heartburn, so I took my time and tried to enjoy my meal, but she had already gotten up, and went toward the door. She was obviously impatient to pick Jeremy from pre-school. I had not had enough time to completely finish my burrito, so I ended up tossing the last 1/4 of it in the garbage, because she had rushed me out of there, which pissed me off. I should have just taken it with me!

Once we were in the Jeep and on our way to pick up Jeremy, she confessed to me that she really didn't have to get Jeremy right at 3:00, because they pay so much for his tuition, that she has the option to keep him at latchkey until 6:00. Then why did she rush me through lunch when she knew she had plenty of time to get there? It made no sense, but I saw a pattern evolving whenever we were out and about especially when it came to mealtimes, and although I didn't spend time questioning it, I had begun second-guessing my decision to visit this person I thought I knew so well. It was hard to tell what she was thinking because she never came out and said anything, but her actions spoke volumes. It soon became painfully apparent that she'd been trying to teach me a lesson. What I never had learned in the 13 days I'd spent with her, was why? What had I done to deserve this type of treatment?

After a few days, it became obvious that she really didn't want to go anywhere, but because she had said we'd do things, she obliged and did the very minimum, but when we actually went someplace, she would purposely design the time in ways that didn't allow us to spend much time there and always made excuses to get back, either to get to work or to pick up her son. I know she wasn't feeling well either, and allowed for that, but why didn't she see a doctor when she didn't start to feel better after a day or two? She claimed she was too sick to go anywhere, yet she wasn't too sick to work and all clients. That was the only thing she seemed to be consistent about; work. She and I have been planning this trip for 3 months. Why didn't she schedule her work around my visit? She works from home and is her own boss. She certainly could have done day trips with me and worked in the evenings.

She'd had three months to schedule her jobs. One particular day, she said "I should never have planned anything for a Monday because it's always my busiest day." Being her own boss, she had complete control over her schedule. Why didn't she plan her work better? I soon learned that nothing she did was by mistake; it was by design, meant to punish me. Too many things didn't make sense and after catching her in a few lies, this had tipped me off to her "master plan" to teach me a lesson. Yet I did nothing to deserve this treatment except be a stellar house guest; cleaning, washing dishes, babysitting her son, doing my own (and their) laundry, grocery shopping, etc. Hell, I could have saved myself a lot of money and simply stayed at home!

The London Bridge had been torn down in 1968 from the River Thames in London and rebuilt stone by stone across Lake Havasu, (which is a widening of the Colorado River), from Lake Havasu City to a small Island, which the locals just referred to as "the island." It was a landmark I'd wanted to see as well as check out the London Bridge shops that we'd seen briefly earlier that week. On the day we finally went to the London Bridge, she didn't want to park, and said, "I think they charge for parking." I told her I had no problem paying for it. Finally she pulled into this parking lot (free) and parked the Jeep near a stairway that led down to the shops. We got out and walked around the shops, but I had felt rushed because I could sense she didn't want to spend much time there. I like to get a "feel" for a new place so that I can experience it but I had felt so rushed, I simply couldn't enjoy it or appreciate it. This was no way to spend my vacation!

When we finished going through those shops, I asked if we could cross over the bridge to the other shops. She said, "The shops are all the same." She really did not want to go across the bridge, but eventually she conceded and pulled into the "Island Mall" parking lot. She didn't get out of the car, and reached for her iPhone, to me saying, without words, "Don't be too long," so I said I wouldn't be long, and began to resent being rushed. Wasn't this what I came to Arizona for? I grew increasingly frustrated, because we had the entire afternoon for sightseeing and yet I had felt rushed the whole time, not really being able to take in the sights as I'd hoped I could and not enjoying myself in the least. (Luckily, I was able to go there later on my own.) I found a couple of really cool t-shirts for Jim and within less than 10 minutes, was back in the Jeep. She was on the phone with a client.

When Alan came home from work, she told him that I'd bought ice cream and asked him to pay me. He mumbled something about "I don't have any money," and that was that. I never got paid for the ice cream. No big deal, but I'd already bought groceries, had only three dinners, two of which I made. She also never paid me back for the additional groceries she'd added while I was shopping for stuff I ate. I had to let it go because it wasn't worth getting angry about. After all, I was a guest in her house and wasn't paying to stay there. Not in money, but in other ways. Like being subjected to cruelty and being completely ignored by her husband, who considered me a nuisance. I did nothing except be a good guest. I cleaned up after myself and him, after he'd left a kitchen counter full of the remnants of a tuna sandwich he'd made with tuna that I'd bought and didn't even offer to make me one. Nice guy, indeed. A real charmer. I'd never felt more out of place, alone, or unwanted in my entire life.

Each night I'd stay in my room, my only refuge from the odd family dynamics in that dysfunctional household. But it got old as the bed had a deep "well" in it and I usually sank toward the center of the bed. I couldn't find a comfortable place to work on my computer, so after a few days, I sat in the living room with them as they ignored me completely to watch "Law & Order," night after endless night. The "girls popcorn/movie night" never happened either. So many things simply never happened. How I longed to just play a board game or have a "normal" vacation. This was NOT what I'd signed up for or spent so much money on!

While I was browsing the London Bridge shops, she had mentioned this cool interior design store that she'd wanted to go to so she could talk to the designer who did her previous home in Lake Havasu. I figured out later that's why she was rushing me to get through the London Bridge stores. We went to the furniture store and Melanie took instant offense at how the "snooty" saleswomen had given her the "once over" and how she'd treated her like a scum. I thought it was rather funny that she got so angry about it. She was dressed like a slob in a stained t-shirt and worn jeans. People make harsh judgments about others without knowing the facts, but you can't let it get to you or take it personally. She couldn't. She kept talking about it for hours afterward. Evidently, it had hit a nerve in her. I didn't know why this bothered her so much. I found it quite amusing!

After we'd left the high-end furniture store, I convinced her to first stop at a hamburger place before we picked up her son from daycare. I was hungry and it was about 2:30 by the time we got to the fast food place. It took 15 minutes, but I finally got our food and we left and got to the daycare in time, but by the time we got home and ate, our food was cold. Why couldn't we just have eaten it at the restaurant? This made no sense to me. I had felt a shift in our relationship after that day and things gradually had became more strained between us.

I believe she didn't like stopping whenever I had asked her to eat, but knowing she never had food ready at her house eating on the road seemed like my only option. That, and the food I'd bought for myself at Walmart which I had to plan out carefully to make sure I had enough meals to get me through the week for breakfast. Lunch was the toughest meal, especially if we were not at her house. Why wouldn't she allow me time to eat? It wasn't because of money, because I'd offered to pay for it. I figured out she had been punishing me. What I failed to discover, was why? Melanie was definitely a "show, don't tell," person. I had no idea what it was I was supposed to learn from her treatment of me regarding the food issue.

She'd suggested going to Monument Valley but said it was a 6 hour drive. I told her honestly, that I can't sit that long in a vehicle because of my back problems and told her I didn't mind if we kept things closer to home, maybe spend the night someplace else? She'd originally had plans for us to camp and spend time sightseeing through the Grand Canyon and taking in other sights in the vicinity. For various reasons, that didn't happen. I didn't mind because I wasn't too keen on camping in a tent in the middle of the desert and told her as much. So, when the first week was over, we'd only gone to only a few places nearby. But how many times can you see the London Bridge? Soon, I had longed to see more and venture out further to get photos of more than just her immediate neighborhood. Maybe next week would be better. I had hoped.

Unfortunately, each day was a greater disappointment than the previous one had been. What was the most baffling to me though, was that it became clearly evident after a couple of days that this family had no structure when it came to food, or at least if they did, it was a far cry from what I was used to. Melanie made it pretty clear early on that she "didn't spend much time in the kitchen" and didn't know how to cook. What I didn't know what that this meant I wouldn't spend much time eating, either. Not unless I cooked it or bought it. What did they eat? Well, simple. Melanie was on Atkins, so she had her bars and her drinks and ate bacon and eggs daily for breakfast then wondered why she was gaining weight. I told her because she'd been eating fat and cholesterol, that's why. I think she got angry at that statement, but I was beyond caring at that point. Her husband, "the chef" cooked all day at work. The last thing he wanted to do at night was to cook for someone he had hardly spoken to in the 13 days I'd been a "guest" in their home. The guy barely said two words to me. Talk about uncomfortable! And her son, well, he was perfectly happy with a bowl of cereal for dinner or a PBJ. So most of the time I was on my own, which meant if I didn't cook it or buy it, I didn't eat. Period. Candy bars can only go so far to sustain you. Plus, I was tired of not having a decent meal. I even offered to take the family out to dinner but that never happened either. I simply didn't get it!

I soon figured out that that the only way I'd eat dinner was if I scheduled my day in a way that I could borrow her vehicle and go out in the later afternoon. On the days she and I went places, she usually didn't want to stop to eat, although the few times she did concede, I had felt so rushed I couldn't enjoy my meal. It was definitely NOT the vacation I had signed up for, that's for sure. I soon learned to always carry a candy bar with me because it might be the only thing I'd have to eat for a very long time, like all day. When I woke each morning, I became instantly depressed, because it meant that I faced yet another day where I may not get anything to eat except for breakfast. It wasn't a good way to begin a vacation day.

One day when we'd planned an outing, I asked Melanie if we should pack a lunch and she said, "No, we can get something to eat in town." What confounded me was that she took Jeremy along for the ride, even though her husband was at home that day and could have watched him. As soon as we got in the car Jeremy said he was hungry. Melanie kept telling him, "We're almost there, honey. When we get there, we'll get something to eat." We were heading to Oatman, a western tourist town high in the mountains and desert region. I had no idea where we were and the rugged beauty also presented a great deal of danger. Many of the roads were going up the side of a mountain with a 1,000 foot drop. One wrong turn of the steering wheel, and down into the valley below we'd crash. I tried not to think of the danger, instead focused on the incredible scenery. Plus, since her son was in the car, I knew she wasn't about to do anything to put his life in danger.

It was an hour and a half before we had finally arrived in "town," a small western tourist trap in the mountains that had only one restaurant. By the time we got there it was 1:00 and of course, there was a line. Not a long line, but a line, nonetheless. I was more than willing to wait, but we walked by it and looked for another place to eat. There was none. She turned and asked me, "Do you want kettle corn or ice cream?" I told her, "Neither. I want a sandwich!" What am I, five? Did she think that by offering me popcorn that would suffice as lunch? Here was another example of her complete disregard for my need to eat a meal, not ice cream or popcorn!

After discovering that there truly was only one place "in town" to eat, we went back there and stood behind four people ahead of us. I didn't think that it would be such a long wait, but Melanie had another idea, because after a few minutes, she took a hold of Jeremy's hand and walked away saying, "I'm not waiting in that line," then left me to decide if I wanted to stand and wait in line alone, possibly risk being left in that Godforsaken place if she got too angry at me. At that point, I didn't know what she was capable of, and I didn't want to risk it, so I reluctantly left the restaurant line and walked in the direction I saw her heading and pulled a candy bar out of my purse. It wasn't exactly the lunch I had envisioned, but it took the edge off my hunger.

I walked into a few little shops, mostly tourist traps, and bought a couple of postcards. I asked the salesperson how close we were to the nearest gas station since Melanie again didn't get gas before we'd left, even though I offered to pay for it. I feared running out of gas on our way back. She told me it was 37 miles away. Inside I cringed, and said, "Thank you," then left the store.

I found Melanie and Jeremy, sitting on a rock at the end of the street near the parking lot. She'd bought Jeremy an ice cream and she was eating an Atkins bar. She smiled and looked at me and asked, "Are you ready to go?" I glanced at my watch. It was only 1:25 and we'd been there less than 30 minutes. I had barely gotten a feel for the place, only went into 2 or 3 stores, and she was already asking if I was ready to leave. It didn't look like we'd do much else there, so I responded with, "Well, not really, but clearly you are, so let's go," and I immediately walked away from her so she couldn't see how upset I'd been. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing how bad she'd made me feel. She didn't respond to my comment, so we walked over to where she'd parked. I was glad I'd brought a water bottle with me since the candy bar had made me thirsty. To say I was disappointed with this "adventure" was an understatement. At least I was able to get some phenomenal photos on the ride up the mountain. Big frickin' deal.

After having stayed there for 12 nights, I soon learned that dinners were non-existent in that household. Her husband, Alan, "the chef" never cooked a meal for us. For months, she'd told me, "Alan loves to cook for people!" I thought I was in for a rare treat, visiting a friend whose husband was a chef. Reality was a far cry from what she'd led me to believe since her husband barely spoke to me, let alone cooked for me. The only night they supplied dinner was when they had bought the pizza and salad.

One night after I had visited the shops on my own, I had a craving for ice cream and had called Melanie to to find out where an ice cream shop was. With her directions, I had found it really quick. Trying to be a polite guest, I had asked if she'd wanted me to bring ice cream home for them. She told me she didn't want any, but that Jeremy and Alan had wanted ice cream and then told me which flavor, so I bought the ice cream and headed back to her house, hoping I'd get there before it had melted. It was the first time I'd driven back to her house after dark, but I found it without a problem. When I got there, I put theirs into the freezer while Jeremy finished his bath. After he got out, he had his ice cream and not long afterward, Melanie put him to bed. 

I felt like she'd tease me with an activity to get my hopes up, then slam me down and make excuses to not go. I don't know what her motives were, but none of them made sense to me. When she told me that, I was not surprised in the least, because this seemed to be the norm, but I was certainly disappointment, so I just said, "Fine. I guess I'll have my usual breakfast," and turned to go into the kitchen and make my bagel and tea. After a while I went outside to sit on the porch and she asked me if I still wanted to go to her mom's. I jumped at the chance to get out of there for a while and after she gave me directions, I found her mom's house very easily. It was on "Constellation Drive," only about 10 minutes away.

This trip to her mother's was an eye-opening experience and probably the only time they cooked anything (that I know of) was the afternoon I had spent at Melanie's mother's house, sewing a pillow FOR HER, Melanie. Later that afternoon, Melanie messaged me asking, "Are you coming home for dinner?" By that time her mother and father had asked me to join them for rib night at the Elk's club and I'd gladly accepted. I had no reason to believe Melanie and Alan had dinner planned because she had said nothing about it the night before or that day. Frankly, I was surprised that she even asked if I'd planned on being there for dinner at all. Up to then I'd seen no evidence of anything resembling a normal family meal. Her son seemed content with peanut butter sandwiches or cereal, but then again, he's FIVE.

Spending the afternoon with Melanie's mother, Sarah, was an eye-opening experience because Sarah had asked me, "So, has Alan been cooking you any good dinners?" She had an odd look on her face and I had the feeling she was testing me. I quietly responded, "No." Then she quirked one eyebrow (a gesture her daughter did as well) and before I knew it, I told her the whole sordid story. I told her, "No, he hasn't cooked. In fact, I haven't been getting much in the way of food since I got here ten days ago." I explained that on my first night, I cooked dinner, chicken cordon blue and later that first week I made steak. Melanie made enchiladas one night with an apple pie (her grandmother's recipe), but other than that, I didn't get dinners on most nights. Sarah told me that it wasn't Melanie's grandmother's pie recipe, it was her recipe! She also told me that Melanie CAN cook. She repeated it, she said, "She can cook!" Melanie clearly told me she didn't know how to cook. Hmmmm....interesting. Had she been lying? I wasn't the first time.

Sarah was appalled at what I'd told her and said, "I can't believe they have been treating you the same way they treated us when we visited them in New York!" What??? She'd treated her PARENTS that way too? What kind of person does that? I am not a person who expects to be waited on, but when you have guests, it's expected that you inquire if they're hungry at a normal time when most people eat. I had thought their behavior was rude, but kept making excuses for them, but when her mother told her father to "Stop making excuses for her," I finally had felt validated and that I hadn't imagined it. I had been treated badly. I was surprised her father had said, "I hate to say this, but she's BLONDE!" Then her mom said, "I love my daughter, but the way she's been treating you is inexcusable!"

It was indeed a relief to hear confirmation from people that know Melanie well and that I wasn't going crazy or imagining it. Melanie and Alan weren't being the greatest host and hostess, in fact, missing the mark by a long-shot. I'd noticed a change in her behavior only a couple of days after I arrived, but couldn't fathom what I could have possibly done to deserve such treatment. Even prisoners are entitled to three meals a day!

I had a great afternoon and wonderful evening with Melanie's parents. Not only did Sarah give me lunch, (and was startled at my reaction to this question as I had responded as though someone had asked me if I wanted a million dollars), she and her husband had graciously invited me out to dinner. I think they were trying to make up for their daughter's incredible ignorance on how to treat guests. It was one of the best nights I'd had since my arrival in Arizona, and the only time I got to go out to eat with anyone besides myself. She'd even told me that had she known that Melanie was pulling her old tricks with me, she'd have come gotten me and I could have stayed with her! I couldn't believe it! Now I wish I'd have gone over there sooner!

On the way to the Elk's club rib dinner with Melanie's parents, Eddie's name came up in conversation and her mom told me that Melanie had told me that "Eddie was dying to meet me!"' That's why we were scheduled to have lunch. She then told me that Melanie had told her that I was dying to meet Eddie. Why would I be "dying" to meet this Eddie person whom Melanie talked about so frequently? I didn't know him, so it certainly didn't matter to me if I'd met him or not. The entire time I was there, Melanie had talking about Eddie, injecting his name into many conversations and telling me what a great friend he was, he was into real estate, had a big house, etc. I had never once expressed that I was "dying" to meet him! She kept telling me she'd take me by Eddie's house but like other things she said, that never happened. I began to wonder if Melanie is suffering from some kind of mental disorder because her behavior was just bizarre.

When I finally got back to Melanie's house later that night, Melanie was on the love seat and Alan was slumped on the couch, half asleep. While she didn't seem outwardly angry, I could tell she didn't like that I'd spent the afternoon and evening with her parents, but at that point, I didn't care. Only two more days until I was going to be out of there and I actually couldn't wait to leave! I'd been a good guest. I'd tried to be understanding and patient, but she was clearly not at all who I thought she was and I was obviously not someone she wanted in her house, since she let me know in numerous, countless subtle ways. I should have trusted my instincts and left as soon as I recognized something wasn't right, but I kept making excuses for her and waiting for it to change. It only grew worse as time had passed.

It was by far the worst vacation I'd ever had. Here I was surrounded by beauty in a place so very different from everything I'd ever known, and never had I felt more alone, especially in the evenings. And things that I'd experienced weren't by chance; they were by design. Not only was the lack of regular meals an issue, I learned fairly quickly that Melanie said one thing and did the exact opposite. She had told me we'd have a "girl's night" with a movie, which never happened. She'd told me we would go to her husband's country club to swim in the pool and use the hot tub/gym, which also didn't happen. One night we were supposed to go to a Rock-A-Billy concert and fireworks display. That never happened. She had mentioned some outdoor country-style restaurant, Ranch something or other. Didn't happen. Lots of promises, none kept.

I asked her if we could go out to dinner, to a nice restaurant, at least once, before I left, my treat. She said, "absolutely!" We never went anywhere other than a few fast food places. She told me a friend of hers, "Eddie" was dying to meet me and we were supposed to have lunch with him on the Wednesday I ended up at her mom's house. I was excited that we'd FINALLY go out somewhere to eat and asked her what restaurants she had in mind. Well, on Wednesday morning, I asked Melanie what time we'd be meeting with Eddie so I knew what to eat for breakfast. I didn't want a large breakfast if we were going to an early lunch. She was sitting at her computer when I went into her office and asked her. She had said, "We're not going to lunch. I feel like crap today." She seemed fine last night. What had changed? And yet she had worked all day on websites.



The first couple of nights, we sat outside on the porch. It was lovely and I truly enjoyed it. The environment was so different from what I was used to, so wild and untamed, but beautiful. I wished we could have done this more, but later in the week, it got too cold to sit outside so we stayed inside, but we did nothing in the evenings. I suggested maybe playing a board game one night and she agreed, but we never played one. I mean, if you invite a guest into your home for 2 weeks, don't you think you'd do things that are fun and spend time with them? The things I wanted to do didn't cost anything. I'm perfectly happy with a bag of popcorn and a movie, but the only thing they watched, night after night after night, was "Law and Order." Nothing else! It seemed like a very dark show and I didn't enjoy it, so I spent a lot of time in my room that first week. I also didn't want to intrude on their family time.

Being in my room had its limitations since there was no place to sit comfortably for very long. My choices were either the bed, which had a dip in the center, or a very hard rocking chair. I chose the bed, leaning against the wall with pillows propped behind my back. After a while my legs got numb so I'd get up to stretch and went out to the kitchen and get something to drink.

My new 10.5" laptop had become my best friend, my connection to the outside world. I was also able to talk to Jim on "Skype" some nights, but with the two-hour time difference, by the time I got on the computer, he was ready for bed.

So, that first week, I spent a lot of time in my room. After Alan went to bed, I'd go out into the living room, and Melanie and I would talk for a while before we went to bed. During the 2nd week, I sat in a corner lounge chair in the living room because it was far more comfortable than sitting on the bed, leaning against the pillows. I did that for a few hours and then went into my room, not long before I went to bed. This made those long, boring evenings much easier for me.

During the 12 days I stayed at their house, Melanie's husband barely spoke to me. In fact, on my last night, Thursday, he spoke NOT EVEN ONE WORD to me. Nothing. Not a "Have a safe flight," or "Thanks for coming," or even a "Kiss my Ass!" Nothing! Not one word. I had never met anyone so rude in my entire life. Had I known that alone prior to booking my flight, I would have stayed home.

I was a good guest and contributed to the household. I washed dishes practically every day and cleaned up after myself. I didn't mind because it gave me something to do. I also kept Jeremy company while Melanie worked. He watched cartoons, but I was nearby and talked to him, got to know him. He was a smart little boy, kind of shy at first, but he warmed up to me later on. He was also quite spoiled.

I let their dog, a black Dachshund, outside when she needed to pee. On one night, she was by the door for a long time and Alan was sprawled on the couch and didn't get up to let her out, so I opened the door and she went. Poor thing had the runs! Could it have been because he'd fed her the pork that was in the refrigerator for at least 10 days? Melanie offered that pork rib to me for dinner one night but I declined because I know it had been there at least a week.

I also did my own laundry added theirs. Even put them in the dryer. On the occasions I did use her Jeep to explore, I put the gas I used and then some. I cooked two dinners and went grocery shopping twice for which I never got paid, even after she swore she'd pay me. That wasn't cheap, either.

One night after I'd been there for a few days, I had e-mailed my friend Debbie and told her what was happening and she said, "You could have stayed home and done that!" This really put things in perspective. She was right. I had felt more like a housekeeper or babysitter than a guest, and certainly not a wanted guest. Melanie even had said, "I feel so bad for you! You spent all this money and I've been so sick." That was questionable. If she was so sick, why did she not get some medication? And how was she able to work so much?

I had originally planned leaving for home on Saturday, February 26, but at the end of my first week, on that Friday night on Skype, Jim told me to just get a rental car and get the hell out. The plan was that Melanie to drive me into Vegas, and we would tour the Hoover Dam, something I thought we'd do when I arrived. If I didn't make arrangements to do this myself, I knew that it would never happen. One thing I've learned from being there for those 13 days, was that no matter what Melanie said, it wasn't true. I learned that she'd simply say anything to appease me, and then simply do whatever she pleased.

Given my experience with how well she'd kept promises, I'd decided to take Jim's advice and order a rental car from Avis and leave a day early so I could spend my night in Vegas. Melanie drove me to the Avis location Thursday, and after she dropped me off, I spent the entire day doing what I should have been doing all along, sightseeing at my own pace. I went to the Parker Dam, I took pictures, I stopped for a car show in town and had dinner at a street side cafe. I regret not getting the car a lot sooner. I could have visited a friend in California!

When I had first told Melanie that I was going to get a rental car, her reaction was strange. She said, "Why do you want to waste money on a car when you can just use my Jeep?" I told her because I want the freedom to come and go as I please without a time limit. On the occasions I did drive the Jeep, she'd needed it back by 3:00 so she could pick up Jeremy from daycare, so I could never really spend the time I wanted to spend without feeling pressure to get it back. As a rule, I don't like driving someone else's car.

Her Jeep. What a piece that was! The windows didn't open, there was a pile of junk in the entire back seat and a pair of Melanie's sunglasses that rolled from side to side on the dashboard every time I turned a corner. I HATED driving it! No thanks. I got my rental car. It was she that suggested I drive to Las Vegas after I told her I was getting the car. Excellent idea, because it assured me that I'd spend my night there. Unfortunately, Vegas turned out to be its own nightmare.

I had left Melanie's house on Friday, February 25, 2011 at 11:30 a.m. after we hugged. I said "Thank you," but had no idea what for. Then I got on the road, had stopped for lunch, than drove through California and had arrived in Vegas around 3:00 in the afternoon, with a splitting headache, but couldn't check into my hotel until 4:00, so I had to drive around in the WORST traffic I'd ever experienced, with a headache that threatened my sanity. I'd never experienced such insane traffic! How can people stand this place?

Thank God I'd paid extra for the Garman. It came in handy in Vegas. It was there I had severely injured my wrist upon arriving at the hotel and hauling my too-heavy luggage out of the trunk of my little red Aveo in the parking lot of the hotel at Harrah's. Not until the next day, did I notice my wrist hurt and was quite swollen. I brushed it off, thinking I'd just sprained it by hauling heavy luggage. Not until much later would I realize I'd actually torn three ligaments and would require surgery later that year to correct it.

I had checked into Harrah's, a recommendation from Gayle, my sister-in-law travel agent and had gotten a nice room on the 23 floor. After I had checked in and found my room, I was both exhausted, yet very, very hungry, but exhaustion won out, so I grabbed some pretzels and iced tea I'd brought and rested a bit, then went in search of food and ended up eating at "Spagos" an Italian High-End establishment in the Forum Shops at Caesar Palace. I found it by sheer will because it was so convoluted with all the levels and stores, but once I found it, the meal was superb. I had the spaghetti and some awesome garlic bread. Just water to drink. That's all I could afford.

When I had left the forum shops, I headed back to my hotel and tried to get the internet to work, but no luck. Then some asshole was out there at 6:00 a.m. shouting down the hall on his cell phone. I had woken up and showered, then ordered pancakes through room service. It came a half hour later when I was out of the shower. It was good, but way too much.

Vegas wasn't my cup of tea. While beautiful, clean kept and certainly glamorous, it doesn't suit me as a person, but I had wanted to take the Hoover Dam tour, so I booked it from the hotel on the morning I'd checked out. It was the "express" tour. What I didn't know what that you either got to pee, eat, or see the Dam, but can't do all three because they simply don't allow you enough time since they force you to sit through a movie then take you to the inner workings of the Dam. By the time I was done with the "interior" tour, it was 3:20 and I still had to get something to eat lest I pass out!

By the time I got my food, it was 3:25 and the bus was to leave at 3:30. I barely made it to the bus. The driver had warned us, "if you miss this bus, the taxi back into Vegas costs $125.00." I made it just as the doors were closing. I had never been more stressed out in my entire life! You can keep Las Vegas! Just get me home, Please!! I made my way back to the hotel's parking lot and got into my car and headed for the Avis Rental so I could drop off my car and get to the airport by shuttle. It was about a 15 minute ride. I figured I could arrive early, eat, use the laptop or maybe read. I got there at 6:15 p.m. and my flight wasn't leaving until 10:00, so I had plenty of time.

Only when I got in line, I was told there was a flight delay and they wouldn't be checking bags for at least another hour, so I stood in line along with the other people and just waited. Finally, they called us up to the counter, took our luggage and I got through security and after putting my shoes on, began looking for an open restaurant, but found none. You'd think on a Saturday night in Las Vegas, the city that never sleeps, you'd find a restaurant open. Chili's was closed. There was another small bar with minimal sandwiches open, none of which appealed to me, so I ended up going to Burger King, ordered a sandwich, drink, fries and a water and after taking two bites, decided I wasn't hungry after all, knowing I'd likely regret it later, but I felt a bit queasy so better not to eat too much. After what I'd experienced in the past two weeks, my nerves were shot.

I found a charging station and plugged in my laptop and phone and tried to get online, but I think they purposely don't make it easy for you to use the internet ANYWHERE in Las Vegas because they want you to spend your time (and money) on the slot machines which lined the interior of the airport. I spent $1.00 and lost it, then walked away. As the departure time drew near, I found a seat and asked a man to save it for me while I used the bathroom. After I sat back down, I found out that he and his wife had a similar experience with the Hoover Dam tour, only they never got to see the Dam! And they paid a lot more than I did, like $79.00 a person, which included a tour of Evelyn's chocolates, which was closed by the time they got there. So theirs wasn't a good experience either. It seems like this is all done by design. It's a large scheme to suck the money out of your pockets in ways you wouldn't even suspect. I'll never, ever go back there again.

The entire trip was a nightmare and I couldn't wait to get back home to my husband and familiar surroundings. What a huge waste of money and time. The wild west was a bit too wild for me. I'll keep my Michigan changing seasons and crazy temperatures any day.

And sadly, my friendship with Melanie has ended. She's no longer accepting communication from me. This is another twist of this story from hell. After I got back home, HER mother had contacted ME through Facebook, apologizing for her daughter's rude behavior! I accepted Sarah as a friend and we e-mailed back and forth for a while. Evidently, Melanie found out about it (not from me) and told me to "stop e-mailing my mother with your problems..." I didn't initiate this conversation with her mother. Her mother had contacted me!

I was prepared to just let it go and never reveal to Melanie of her incredibly rude treatment of me, and how uncomfortable I'd felt during the time I had spent at her house, but when her mother contacted me, I figured it was a chance to get it off my chest, even though I was curious why her mother would contact me in the first place.

I found out soon enough; apparently, I had gotten caught in the middle of a mother/daughter battle that had been going on for years, as Melanie herself admitted that she and her mother had never gotten along. Perhaps her mother had seen this as an opportunity to get information from me about Melanie (and perhaps validating her daughter's treatment of her) and Melanie had wrongly assumed I'd been the one going behind her back to get in touch with her mother. Clearly, she was somehow threatened by any contact between her mother and myself.

Looking back, I'm angry about the entire episode. I'm furious that she (Melanie) shut ME out, not accepting e-mails from me, when I did NOTHING wrong. I was a good guest and left her home on a good note, even though I had every right to be angry and tell her so. I also resented being used by her mother as a source of information. It's the only logical reason her mother would have contacted me in the first place. She had to have known I'd respond and fill her in about my stay at her daughter's house! While I was at her (Sarah's) house and she was preparing my lunch, she told me that if she'd known how they were treating me, she'd have come to get me and bring me to her house. I can well imagine how that would have gone over!

I've recited this "vacation" from hell to my friends and family numerous times and everyone tells me that had it been them, they'd have left after the first two days. Looking back at how it ended, I wish I'd have either left sooner, or just gone elsewhere after the first few days. I had better expectations because for months she told me "there's so much to do and so much to see," so is it my fault? What, exactly, did I do wrong?

And I ended up having wrist surgery in October...a gift that keeps on giving. Lesson learned. Don't take vacations alone, especially visiting someone you think you know, but you really don't know at all. And mostly, have a back-up plan!

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